Parental Secrets

Do you ever find yourself struggling with your child at a public place like a restaurant and looking over at the other families that seem to be at bliss?  Are you jealous of your friends who seem to have perfect kids?  If you are, you may want to know that there is no perfect way to parenting.  However, as you develop as a parent, you will discover some parental secrets out there that will make your life so much easier.

Parental Secret Number One: appearances do matter.  Have you ever noticed that as you become more frustrated about how your child behaves, they act up even more?  It’s pretty frustrating.  However, the reason behind this is because your child is getting the attention it desires, even though it is negative attention.  Children are able to sense their parent’s moods and will try to find ways to exploit them to their advantage.  Even if you are feeling frustrated and frazzled, you will be amazed that if you project a cool, controlled look that your child will not act up.

While we try to teach children a number of good habits, we often inadvertently teach them bad habits.  Children are keen observers and will see how you act if you feel frustrated or angry.  In many cases, children will try to emulate what they have seen.  However, by being aware of this and working towards projecting a calm image, your child will learn good habits.  Think of your children as a mirror.  If you want your children to act nicely, you have to lead by example.

Parental Secret Number Two: don’t try to control your child.  While we all want our children to be perfect and nice, they are human and they aren’t going to be like that all of the time.  By acknowledging this, you will save yourself a lot of heartache.  Although it is important to set barriers for your child’s behavior, it is vital that you give your child some leeway.  When they have crossed the line, it is important that you act appropriately.

After all, do you like it when you make a mistake at your work and your boss comes and yells at you belligerently?  Of course not.  However, do you appreciate it when your boss takes the time to explain what you have done wrong and will listen to your reasons why you made that choice?  Being an effective parent means transporting your ideal situations to the home.  Remember that although words are a great way to teach your child, your child learns much more from your actions.  By treating your child as a human and listening to them, you will be teaching your child an important lesson about respect.  After all, your child will respect you more if you treat them with the proper amount of respect.

These are just a couple of the parental secrets that are out there.  In some cases you will stumble on to these secrets through experience.  However, you can always ask other parents about their different parenting experiences.  Being a parent isn’t an exact science but each parent have their own parental secrets that they can share that will help make you an effective and great parent!