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Rodney Dangerfield Revisited

Rodney Dangerfield (actually born Jack Cohen) was born into the tradition of comedic entertainment.† His father was a famous vaudevillian and traveled the country entertaining people.† However, after trying to get into the business under the stage name Jack Roy, he decided to change it to the edgier Rodney Dangerfield.

And it was under this name that a truly ugly man, became very loved and extraordinarily famous.

With the recent passing of this great comedian, we get a chance to look back at his great career, which produced some of the cleverest one linerís ever delivered by any modern American humorist. Rodney Dangerfield jokes are as unique as they are funny.† Of course many of the following are more like, Rodney Dangerfield quotes taken out of context as Rodney Dangerfield jokes, but they are still very funny.

  1. I was so poor growing up... If I wasnít born a boy... Iíd have nothing to play with.
  1. A girl phoned me the other day and said... "Come on over, thereís nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
  1. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
  1. One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early."
  1. Itís been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. Iím afraid to go to the bathroom.
  1. I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
  1. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
  1. I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
  1. Iím so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
  1. When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, Iím very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through.
  1. Iím so ugly, my mother had morning sickness after I was born.
  1. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
  1. Once when I was lost I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think weíll ever find them?" He said, "I donít know kid, there are so many places they can hide."
  1. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
  1. Iím so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big Iíd get.
  1. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up; Whatís wrong with me?" He said, "I donít know but your eyesight is perfect."
  1. I went to the doctor because Iíd accidentally swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills. My, doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

As you can see, Rodney may have had a few neuroses, but all in all they made him a lot of money and garnered him with a lot of fame.† This truly funny man will be missed by anyone who likes a great self-effacing joke, and really, isnít that just about everyone?

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