Home >> Write >> Relationship >> Dating >> Dating widows
Dating Widows: Advice to Help You Help Her
If you find yourself falling for a woman who has been widowed, you need to know that dating widows isn’t going to be quite the same as dating someone who is divorced or never married. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed since she lost her husband; he will always hold a very special place in her heart which is something that you need to know you can be alright with before you even dream of getting involved with her romantically.
Sharing her heart with the memory of her husband might bring up some feelings of jealousy for you, but something that you need to remember is that the end of her marriage was not her choice; the man she loved died and there was nothing she could do about it. That’s not something that’s easy for anyone to move on from, but if she is dating you, then she obviously cares enough about you to put aside any feelings of sadness of guilt she may have in regard to her late husband in hopes of building something with you, meaning; you have nothing to be jealous of. On another hand though, if you feel like she is really hanging onto the past and doesn’t seem to be finished grieving his death; not all of the charm or love in the world is going to make her ready for dating overnight. Let her grieve and give her the room to do what she needs to do in order to get past it. Be warned though that it may take a long time.
Depending on how long she was married, she may find it difficult to get back into the swing of things as far as dating or a new relationship goes. This doesn’t mean that she’s not ready, but in fact, she may not even know how to date or deal with a new relationship after having spent years with the same man. Be patient with her while she learns how to break free of her old habits from her previous relationship. It may take a bit of time but with love and support, she’ll get there. With that point also comes another bothersome issue which is having her compare you to her late husband. You need to know that this is not only a possibility but a good likelihood as well as understand that she doesn’t mean you any disrespect by doing it. This is something that’s common for anyone who has come out of a relationship anyway; we compare the new person in our lives to what we had and were accustomed to. With dating widows it’s actually a little harder because their marriage didn’t end by their choice and they had their husband take away from them against their will, leaving them with the memories of a good man and relationship that they can’t help but compare their new one to. Don’t take it personally. It’s perfectly normal, will get better over time and (hopefully) is a compliment to you since they are comparing you to someone they loved dearly.
Dating widows isn’t always easy, but with a little love, patience and understanding, you can definitely find long lasting love together.