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The Pros and Cons of Dating Friends
Is dating friends a good thing or a bad thing? That’s a tough but all too common question that we’re going to look at here and hopefully help you answer for yourself.
There are mixed feelings when it comes to the topic of dating friends. Some will argue that it’s the best thing that you can possibly do while others are dead-set against it and would tell you to avoid dating a friend the way you would avoid the plague! But who’s right? Let’s break it down and see what the pros and cons are when it comes to dating friends.
Pros of Dating Friends
This part I think is pretty obvious; you get to date someone that you already have a great rapport with. Instead of spending weeks or months trying to get to know someone and build a bond with them; dating a friend means that you’re already there! You know each other, know that you love being together and have a closeness that most couples take years to build and sometimes never do manage to build. Also, as a friend, he or she has already proven themselves to be a good person who obviously cares about you—something we wish for in a partner and would be oh so lucky to find! And depending how long you’ve known each other, then the introducing them to the family and your friends and all that has likely already happened which can be a HUGE weight lifted since these are some pretty big moments as far as dating someone goes. It all sounds great, doesn’t it? And it really is, but there are still a few cons to consider as well.
Cons of Dating Friends
You know all of those great points I listed as pros? Well, turns out that for some people those very same points are actually not so great. For instance, the same comfort level that can make dating friends feel so easy is what a lot of people dread to have too early on in a relationship. There is a great saying about comfort:
“Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you have become a comfortable, trusted element in another person’s life.” Dr. Joyce Brothers
That sums it up nicely; you become so comfortable after years together that you’re practically taken for granted. Hmmm. Will that make you happy early on in your new relationship with your friend-turned-lover?? That nerve-wracking, butterflies-in-stomach uncertainty at the start of a new relationship is exciting and wonderful and something that people often which they could have back after years and years of being together. Are you fine with giving up that frazzled, frenzied lovin’ feelin’? And as mentioned, those dating milestones like meeting the family and such are also something that you won’t get to share as a couple because you have already been there and done that. Some people live for these milestones and moments in time. And what about how amazing it is when you first start dating someone and can spend hours and hours just talking and finding out about each other. By dating a friend then you already know just about all there is to know about that person when you start dating. Like I said, these may not be deal breakers for everyone and you may well see all of these points as great reasons to date a friend, but for some, it can really prove to be a let down.
With all of that in mind, I personally feel that all love deserves a chance to grow so if you decide that you and a friend want to take things to another level, then you should probably go for it because you will never really know until you try. Just be aware that not all relationships work and a great friendship does NOT guarantee a great relationship. Talk about the what-ifs before hand because if the dating friends thing doesn’t work out for you, you run the risk of losing the friendship too.