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How to Define Casual Dates and Avoid Much Confusion


Even for those who’ve been a part of the dating scene for awhile; the concept of ‘casual dates’ still brings with it some confusion since it seems to mean different things for different people. It’s especially confusing when you’re using a dating site and are trying to figure out which category you should put your profile into or even which category you should be perusing in search of your ideal partner…or partners. How do you really define casual dating so that you can know if it’s what you’re looking for and avoid the risk of awkward confusion or even heartache when you find yourself totally out of sink with someone you’re into??

It’s easy to see where the confusion can happen when you consider that casual dating when it comes to real life most often refers to going out on dates and hanging out and seeing where things will go while in the world of cyber dating; some sites use the term casual dates for those looking for a ‘friends with benefits’ sorta deal. No wonder we get all confused!! You need to think about what it is you want and be very honest with yourself when it comes to dating. Are you just looking for someone to hang out with? Are you looking for a purely sexual relationship with no expectations—not even to have the odd cup of coffee?? Or are you looking to see where things can lead with someone without the initial pressure of things having to lead to a relationship right away? You ultimately need to decide what you want and see if it fits with someone else’s idea of what casual dates entail.

Being honest about what you want isn’t only important when it comes to yourself but others too. You’ll save yourself a lot of time, stress and confusion if you fess up straight away in regards to what you’re hoping to get out of a date, even if you risk sounding like some kind of deviant sex perv by admitting that what you want is someone to have sex with on a regular basis but have no interest in getting to know them and are not open to any kind of friendship, relationship or even acquaintanceship outside of the physical. Sure, you may get a strip torn out of you and be lectured on morality and you may even get slapped, but in the end you’ll be happy to not be stuck having to deal with someone’s expectations that you have no interest in living up to or even hearing about!

Casual dates can be anything from a date that involves doing something casual like a coffee or a ball game. Casual dates can also mean NSA sex. And casual dates can also mean dating to get to know someone, with no current commitment to be exclusive though open to the possibility of more. *Exhale*

As long as you know what it means to you and are able to express it to anyone you may be considering going out with, then the true definition is whatever it means to you. Got it? Good.