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If you’re interested in being called the scum of the earth by people who make way more money than you, then you’re ready for life among the paparazzi! The paparazzi make a lot of money tracking down celebrities and getting candid shots of them at their best and worst. What better way to spend your life than taking pictures of celebrities over-eating and making utter fools of themselves.

The paparazzi take a lot of heat in the photography world, but lets face it, they are providing a service to the millions of people who actually give a rat’s ass about J-Lo’s booty and the crumbling relationship(s) between poop-stars…oops, I mean POPSTARS.

If anyone tells you that celebrities are people and they deserve their privacy, you can go and laugh in their face. Celebrities love the attention and they need it – do think Brittany and Justin hooked up because they had a love which stemmed from the Mickey Mouse Club? Bullshit! They got together to eventually break up and form a new image. Its called marketing people and any press is good press. The stars know this, so do their agents. They are exploiting the fact that you care about their personal lives to sell records, et al. The paparazzi are the checks and balances on behalf of the rest of the world.

Anyway, you’ll need a telephoto lens to get that picture of Kylie Minogue spread eagle on the beach in Tuscany. Actually, if you have a short lens, quit while you’re ahead: media laws state that you are not allowed on private property to photograph people, rendering any lens under 200mm useless.

You’ll need a lot to be in touch with the celebrity world if you want to make it as a paparazzi. Basically, you’d be a freelance photographer selling your pics to magazines and publications across the world. Some publications will pay up to $100,000 for an underexposed, blurry shot of Jennifer Aniston’s bare back if you can get it. The point is to be where the action is and establish the connections you need to get the shot and then sell it. This may take some time, but if you get a great shot your first day out, then your name could be worth gold!

You’ll need good equipment and a digital SLR is the best to quickly download your shots and send proofs to publications before anyone else has the chance. Don’t be afraid to take risks, and if a celebrity like Mario Van Peebles gives you any guff, just tell him you’re providing a service to the people who actually give a care about someone who shouldn’t be on TV anyway.