2. Jesus lays the smack down on the finest minds: Hey do you remember when you were 12, what you were
doing? I was watching cartoons and
playing videogames but do you know what Jesus was doing? He was hanging out in temples in Jerusalem
debating law with some of the finest minds of that time. His ability to wrap his mind around legal
concepts and to debate underlined just some of his intelligence. Unofficial accounts of this event show that
Jesus may have also been filled with a biting sense of humor and a dry, almost
British wit. Good for you 12-year old Jesus!
3. No wine? No
problem!: Picture this, you're at a
wedding at Cana in Galileee, you're just a thirty year old man kicking it with
some of your best buds or disciples as you affectionately refer to them as, and
you're feeling pretty good about yourself.
There's just one problem: this wedding has hit a problem as they've just
run out of wine. Most people would have
panicked or have left the celebrations to run to another celebration that had
wine. The thing is that most people
aren't Jesus. Surveying the situation,
Jesus demanded that six stone water jars should be filled to the brim with
water. Using the power of positive
thinking, Jesus managed to turn this water into wine and the celebration went
on. Also, this was also a sign that
this Jesus fellow was someone to keep an eye on. If Details existed back then, Jesus probably would have
been among their 30 under 37 magazine issue.
4. Jesus not going medieval on Simon Peter: The last
couple of days of Jesus' life were definitely not the greatest and he did many
amazing things in those days including carrying the cross he would be crucified
on with grace and strength. However, I
would say his biggest accomplishment during those days wasn't going crazy on
his former BFF Simon Peter. For those
of you who don't know, Simon Peter was Jesus' homeboy, the Starsky to Jesus' Hutch
or even the Eminem to Jesus' Dr. Dre.
However, when things were going really bad for Jesus, what did Simon
Peter do: he denied any involvement with Jesus not once, not twice, but thrice! Can you believe that? If I were Jesus, I would have gone absolutely
mental but that's what separates Jesus from others. His absolute grace in trouble and the strangest thing was that
Jesus even prophesized this to Simon Peter who adamantly denied that he would
ever deny any association with Jesus. That
is some serious serenity that Jesus displayed at the time. It's practically Buddhist.
5. You think you know some one and then they do
something crazy like rise from the dead: The death of Jesus was an absolutely sad day, particularly for his
entourage: the 12 Disciples. However,
after an excruciating death being crucified on a cross, Jesus did something
that would be the ultimate highlight of his life. That is he rose from the dead, appeared to some of his closest
confidantes and ascended into heaven.
The original man who seemingly died but seemed to be very well alive,
Jesus was a precursor to Elvis, Andy Kaufman, and Tupac Shakur. This event is so incredible that it inspired
another holiday: Easter, which apparently is not a celebration of a magical
rabbit that gave out chocolate in the Ottoman Empire.
Santa Claus
It would appear that Jesus
would be the most dominant figure in Christmas but the son of God could not
possibly have imagined the power of the 20th century Coca-Cola
corporation. Although Christmas is
essentially a celebration of the birth of Jesus, Coca-Cola created a figure
that would rival Jesus for the hearts of the young and old alike. That figure: Santa Claus.
Affectionately known as
Father Christmas, Santa Claus is the kind, merry, fat man with glasses that's
actually loved. Wearing a red suit that
is trimmed with white fur, this white bearded man is someone that commands a
lot of love. While everybody respects
and genuinely like Jesus, Santa Claus is loved by the kids and that's something! While laying low for most of the year, every
Christmas Santa Claus embarks on a journey of epic proportions. Hopping on to his flying sleigh that is pulled
by a team of reindeer led by the red-nosed Rudolph, Santa Claus flies from
house to house throughout the world leaving presents for the kids. All he really wants is some milk and cookies
for his trouble. The rest of the year,
he spends his time living with his suspected trophy wife, Mrs. Claus, while
supervising his team of elves, who are responsible for the creation of the toys
he leaves for children on Christmas.
This tight operation has been going on for years and the fact that the myth
of Santa Claus has lasted so long is even more impressive.
So, do you often find yourself wondering who the real Santa Claus is? Well, that man we know as St. Nicholas is
actually a composite of two very different people. One part Saint Nicholas of Myra, a bishop of Byzantine Anatolia,
and another part, Father Christmas, British icon, the modern day Santa Claus
combines the best elements of these figures.
Taking Saint Nicholas of Myra's penchant for giving great gifts to the
poor with the cheery spirit of Father Christmas, the modern day Santa Claus is
a mega icon that is fighting for Christmas against Jesus. This battle has already taken place on the
first episode of South Park and there really is no better way to
celebrate Christmas then to watch that excellent episode. Happy Christmas all and take it easy on the
eggnog!
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