Paris Hilton

America Meet Paris Hilton!

These days, you may be hearing a lot about a Paris Hilton.  No, this isn’t an inanimate object, although there is a Hilton Hotel within Paris, but rather it’s an actual person.  Fulfilling my role of always being on the cutting edge of emerging trends, America I’m about to introduce you to one of your country’s best kept secrets: Paris Hilton.

Paris Hilton is a sexy twenty three year old skinny blonde girl that’s worth over thirty million dollars.  The granddaughter of Conrad Hilton, the founder of Hilton Hotels and one of New Mexico’s greatest contributions to American life, Paris Hilton is going to be bigger than sliced bread!  Armed with an awesome name, a baffling but highly rated reality TV show, a new book the aptly titled Confessions of an Heiress, and a burgeoning amateur porn career, Paris Hilton is definitely sitting on top of the world.  Realizing at an early age that books were for losers, Paris Hilton has embarked on a noble mission: becoming famous.

With regular stints on tabloid covers and increasingly frequent ironic cameos in Hollywood movies, Paris seems to be on the way to reaching her goal of stardom.  Besides recording a pop album that will be released on her own Heiress records, Paris can be routinely seen making the rounds on the Hollywood party scene.  Already, she’s caused a stir among Hollywood circles, as other starlets are competing with each other to be within Paris’ exclusive social circle.  Recently, newly-18 actress/singer Lindsay Lohan was sported wearing a T-shirt proclaiming, ”Hilton-Lohan 2004,” like it was a presidential ticket!  This definitely was not taken well by fellow actress/party girl Tara Reid, who after reaching stardom with American Pie has spent the last couple of years in a drunken daze.  That’s some serious power that Paris has if she is able to get Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid fight over her affection.

So, if you’re a bit confused about why you’re hearing a lot about this Paris Hilton, just know that you’ll be hearing this name for years to come!