Danger Island

Danger Island is the most repulsive thing I have ever heard of and I used to live next door to Larry Flynt

By Hugo Strange

Before I begin this article, I just want to make it clear: I am not a prude.  No sir, I am actually a very liberal person and as a resident of California, I have been a witness (and sometime participant) in many events that would leave the average American a little bit, well, disgusted.

However, despite my high tolerance for shady activity that others may consider repulsive, I have to express my outrage about the reality TV show Danger Island.  Although Danger Island is not actually on TV and it is still unknown whether the creators of this ridiculous show has actually filmed an episode, I have to say that Danger Island is the most repulsive thing I have ever heard of and I used to live next door to Larry Flynt.

Living next door to the founder of Hustler magazine and ardent First Amendment protectionist, Larry Flynt, really gave me an education on tolerance.  Although I do not approve of all of the things that Larry Flynt did, I will admit that after months as his neighbor, I became a lot less repulsed about things.  Witnessing blumps and meeting such starlets as Chasey Lain and Pamela Anderson really helped me became the tolerant person that I am.  As a result, when I say that I am repulsed about something, you can bet that whatever I’m repulsed at is damn repulsive!

For those of you not in the know, Danger Island is a proposed reality TV show that no television network in their right mind will ever air.  A kind of bizarro Survivor, Danger Island proposes putting twelve convicted felons on a deserted tropical island.  These twelve convicted felons will be divided between six men and six women.  Of course, a reality TV show about twelve convicted felons on a deserted island wouldn’t be enough, although come to think of it, that would be pretty interested TV.  No, Danger Island also proposes putting on the island a variety of manhunters, whose goal is to catch these criminals.

Of course, Danger Island seems like pretty interesting television show in a completely immoral type of way.  The way the show is designed, these convicted felons compete against each other in a series of extreme and psychological contests.  The catch being that if a felon is caught by a professional manhunter before they are able to complete a contest, they will be removed from the show.  Those felons that do complete their contest are able to move onto the next round.  This format is not rigid and apparently some episodes will conclude with one criminal being voted off the island by, get this, a group of actual crime victims. 

So, I’m sure you’re wondering what the prize in this deranged Running Man-type reality TV show is.  Well, the last felon standing will receive one million dollars that will be given to the victim of the winner’s last crime.  Of course, this puts the victims (or families of the victims) of these criminals in a strange predicament: as they will be cheering for their assailant to win in order to receive a million dollars.  For the felon, they receive an educational scholarship for one of their children, which admittedly is a bit noble.

Still, Danger Island is an example of reality TV maybe going a bit too far.  I know, and Larry Flynt (as well as Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan) will attest to this, that I have uttered the phrase of going a bit too far a fair amount of times in my life, but really does humanity need this type of show on the airwaves?

About the author:
Hugo Strange is not actually the real name of the author’s but is actually a clever pseudonym.  Possibly the alter-ego of Marvel superhero, Dr. Strange, Hugo Strange was the name chosen by the author because it sounds ’crazy cool.’  Although his name is not real, the outrage of the author’s isn’t, as he kept on ranting about this show for hours despite it not being on television.