Teen Life: Things Are Not Always Easy

The teen years form the transition from childhood to adulthood and bring with it the related challenges.

As a child, the individual grows in the obedience mode.  The lines of authority are clearly defined by the parents and most decisions are made by them.  The child more often than not lives within the framework stipulated by parents. Then comes puberty and brings along hormones with it.  The hormones appear to destroy the innocent beliefs of childhood and reinforce the need to experiment and be an adult.  The adults forget their own teen years  and that teen life can be difficult to say the least, and since the teens cannot visualize their parents as teenagers; the battle begins. Teens are learning to make decisions for themselves as young adults, but forget they are still in a learning mode.  The parents are still protective and are not willing to allow for the opportunity to learn.  This lack of common ground is the primary reason for teenage rebellion.

Peer pressure is another one of those big challenges that a teenager faces.  The urge to be a part of the crowd is the strongest during the teen years.  That is where the social environment comes into play.  In an environment of strong drug and alcohol use, the teenager finds it difficult to say no to these. A deaf ear will be turned to a parent giving “lectures”. The parents and adults of the society need to work on providing a positive environment in the neighborhood.  Sports opportunities, well run recreation centers and libraries are some of these positive contributors.

The adults in a teen’s life need to take on more of a role of a friend than a parent.  Some quality time spent at home or outside with a teen does a lot to improve communication. Teens do require direction.  They need straight talk; however they resent authority and that is where a parent’s communication skills come into play.  Parents should encourage teens to “hang out” with positive influences discretely.  One of the most common mistakes made by parents is to pass judgment on indiscrete actions of teenagers when a teenage comes forward to own up to them.  The parent has to be careful in not letting it be the last time the teen comes forward with such confessions.  Although very difficult, the parent has to guide at such junctures and understand the amount of effort and courage it took for the teen to own up to such errors of judgment.

Often teenagers do not display their fears as they like to think that it is not adult like to do so.  Parents need to be alert to changes in disposition and should have the capability to draw their young teenager into a discussion about such fears.  Teenagers frequently go through the cycles of wanting to act as adults and at times are so receptive to advice they genuinely feel that is needed.  The understanding and alert parent develops the internal gauge and barometers to determine such cycles of teen life and act appropriately!